As I write about extensively on this blog, Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy is an effective, evidence-based, and compassionate approach to healing emotional wounds, understanding oneself, and fostering inner harmony and connection. However, like any therapeutic model, IFS is often misunderstood. Many misconceptions stem from the name itself, its approach to working with different “parts” of the psyche, and how it differs from traditional therapy. Here, I will explore some of the most common misconceptions about IFS Therapy and clarify what this powerful method is really about.
Misconception #1: IFS is about treating multiple personalities, or DID
When people first hear about IFS, they often assume is that it’s only for people with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). While IFS can be useful with people experiencing DID, it's utility is much broader than this. While IFS acknowledges that everyone has different parts within them, these parts are all aspects of a system, shaped by nature and temperament, and different life experiences. The IFS process helps people recognise and restore harmony to these inner parts, leading to greater self-awareness and healing. It is a therapy model that applies to anyone, not just those with DID.
Misconception #2: IFS encourages people to have “split” personalities
Some people (even esteemed professionals) who fear that IFS and other parts models promotes fragmentation or makes people feel more disconnected from themselves. In reality, IFS seeks to achieve the opposite. One of the overarching goals of IFS is to foster a more integrated, cohesive internal system by helping individuals befriend and connected with the different parts of their inner world. Rather than creating more division or "splits", IFS helps bring balance, compassion, and unity to one’s internal system.
Misconception #3: IFS is “woo-woo”
Because IFS uses language like “parts” and “Self,” some people assume it’s a mystical or purely spiritual approach rather than a scientifically validated form of therapy. However, IFS is grounded in evidence-based psychology and has been recognised as an effective treatment for trauma, anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges in both an individual and group format. Research studies have shown that IFS helps reduce symptoms of PTSD and improves emotional well-being. While IFS does allow room for spiritual exploration if a client is so inclined, this is entirely optional and the approach is not inherently spiritual or religious.
Misconception #4: The goal is to be "in Self" all of the time
When starting to learn IFS, some clients come to believe that the goal of the process is to be "in Self" all of the time. Along with this, some people mistakenly assume that the qualities of the Self are somehow superior to the function and roles of the parts. This is again, incorrect. I see IFS as a relationship building exercise, where the Self reaches out to parts, and offers care, friendship, teamwork, and support. Parts are necessary to run our busy lives. For example, think of a part that managers your time. They get you to work in the morning or has you turn up to appointments on time. How would you live without them? But what if that part had you turning up 15 minutes early to everything? We would possibly consider that it had tipped over into an extreme role, making life more stressful than it needed to be. In befriending it, we might learn that during childhood or adolescence the person got yelled at by a parent if they were ever late, so the part was formed around a difficult relationship. In the IFS process, the Self can then reach out to that Manager part with care, letting see that the parent is no longer around, and turning up on time is totally fine. It then has space to return to do it's job but in a less extreme way.
Misconception #5: IFS is all about getting rid of parts
People who come from other "counteractive" therapy approaches (e.g., CBT), sometimes assume that IFS aims to get rid of parts, especially those that seem problematic, like inner critics, or extreme firefighters like suicidal parts. In reality, IFS is not about eliminating any part of the psyche but rather about understanding and harmonising them. Every part, no matter how destructive it may appear, exists for a reason - typically to protect the system from pain or vulnerability. People who believe that IFS is about eradicating these parts may misunderstand its core philosophy. When a part behaves in an extreme way, it is usually because it is stuck in an outdated protective role, not because it is inherently bad or unnecessary. The goal of IFS is to help these parts come into relationship with the Self, so they are offered support and a choice to take on healthier, more constructive roles within the system. Rather than fighting against or suppressing parts, IFS fosters an internal dialogue where each part is heard, respected, and ultimately integrated in a way that serves the individual’s overall well-being.
Misconception #6: IFS means you have to talk to yourself out loud
Some people believe that practicing IFS means you have to sit alone and verbally talk to different parts of yourself. While external dialogue can sometimes be a helpful exercise, it’s one of many ways to connect with a part. The good news is that most of the work happens internally - through guided imagery, mindfulness, and self-reflection. Clients learn to notice and interact with their parts in a way that feels natural and comfortable for them, be it through silent dialogue, somatically, through any of the senses, or any other way that feels right. In this way, people tune into their natural creativity to build internal relationships.
Misconception #7: IFS is only for trauma survivors
IFS is incredibly effective for healing trauma, particularly complex trauma. However, it is not exclusively for trauma-related issues. Many people seek IFS for general self-growth, improving relationships, managing stress, and gaining clarity on difficult life decisions. One of my colleagues is using IFS to work with elite sportspeople, and another uses IFS in performance coaching for corporate clients. Since everyone has an inner system of parts, there are benefits to be had for all from IFS, whether they are dealing with deep emotional wounds or simply want to better understand themselves and how they operate in whatever context.
Misconception #8: IFS therapists “take sides” with certain parts
Some people worry that an IFS therapist will judge or take sides with one part of them over another - such as siding with a critical part and shaming a vulnerable part. However, IFS is built on the foundation of non-judgment and self-compassion. The paradox of IFS is that by not expecting anything to change, things change. The therapist's role is to help clients get to know their parts with curiosity and care, ensuring that even the most challenging parts (like harsh inner critics) are understood rather than demonised.
Misconception #9: IFS is just "self-talk"
IFS goes way beyond simple self-talk. Unlike other approaches that may involve positive affirmations or cognitive reframing, IFS helps people deeply engage with their inner system, uncovering root causes of emotional struggles. The IFS process provides a structured way to build a trusting relationship with different parts and facilitate deep listening, rather than just changing very surface-level thought patterns.
In conclusion, IFS is a profound and transformative approach that helps people connect with themselves with deep clarity, in a compassionate way. While it is sometimes misunderstood, the reality is that IFS is a structured, evidence-based, and deeply human-centered therapy model. It is a comprehensive mind-body therapy. Whether you are looking to heal past wounds, improve relationships, or simply understand yourself better, IFS offers a powerful path toward inner harmony thereby making your life easier.